"Forever"

My heart pumps faster,

The voices get louder,

Their draining my strength,

I've got no power,

It's my one shot to make it,

But I can't see straight,

They're taking this moment from me as if it ain't shit,

It's important to me,

They tear the carpet away,

They'll make me fall to my death long they get their pay,

I stand ready for the crowd but I got nothing to say,

Abandoned me in the moment,

They took my words away,

Anxiety is power,

But never to the person,

Inside; I'll always be that lonely little virgin,

Who's undeserving,

Of love and peace and unity,

Who takes joy from others, misses every opportunity,

Forgetting who they are, taking joy from the community,

Destined for greatness, the light of which I'll never see,

I know it's there forever,

And I'm never getting better,

Taking me away from every-damn-thing, that gives me pleasure,

Eradicates me inside-out, hollow-centre,

If I always think this way I'm never getting better,

But forever,

There will always be a part of me,

That pictures what it's like when I'm finally free,

Making every use of time and opportunity,

Fighting everyday for a better us and better me,

Groundhog day forever till you break the cycle,

Repeating every fucking process to spot something vital,

Every hour is the same like a fucking spiral,

All of this to tell me to be fucking mindful,

Are you kidding, cmon,

Teach me some lessons,

Without showing me the hurt and boundless times of depression,

Without giving me anxiety, without even a mention,

And telling me I'm fine but just seeking attention,

If I wanted to do that I'd just get a detention,

Put myself in a position of some uneasy tension,

Stress myself to die young so I don't get a pension,

Made my life hell, gave it an endless extension,

My heart pumped faster,

The voices got quiet,

My strength returned and the room got silent,

The crowd start listening,

All calm and not violent,

My words came back, hitting hard like Tyson.