"Sunsets" My First Mental Health Poem

TRIGGER WARNING! - This Poem contains references death and negative self image.

My life? It has no light,

I'm barely doing enough to survive,

My muscles are aching and I'm feeling tight,

Oh how I wish this world would wish me good night,

Oh how I wish my body could take flight,

No more will. No more fights,

And all my life I have felt depressed,

I feel that I've seen too many sunsets.

Those kids who get just a day,

Unlucky for them but hey,

At least they have died,

Whilst my brain sits here fried,

Every hour is burning my skin,

Every thought I make is a sin,

Oh where do I begin?,

Do I stay on the wheel and spin?

I can't help but feel I've lied,

For I have this will to survive,

Every time that I felt depressed,

Those emotions? Well they've been expressed,

And now its time to suppress,

And to build on what I have next,

At one time I was depressed,

But now I want more sunsets

Why did I sit there complaining,

Whilst those children's healths were waining,

And I just wanted to die,

I ask how selfish was I,

Those children who just got a day,

What would they have to say?,

I would've just gave mine away, 

Whilst they had to sit there and pray,

Just For one more day. 

They never got to see the sun,

And I've had as many as one, 

Times were tough and difficult, 

And my thoughts back then were sinical, 

I know my life has value,

And I've just had to find it,

If I was offered death now,

Well I ought to decline it,

I'm feeling happy and healthy,

Unfortunately still not wealthy,

Though my heart is feeling full,

And my motivation like a raging bull,

I know its hard to believe,

But my heart lives on my sleeve,

I know what I once was,

And that was only because,

I dwelled too much on the past,

I wished my life wouldn't last,

All I see now is change,

I've got to now rearrange,

My life right now is brilliant,

Though I have my bad days,

All my friends are delightful,

In more than many ways,

And I can't thank those enough,

Who stuck there by my side,

Because if they hadn't,

Well frankly. I would have died.

So I suppose this poem is a thank you,

To those who stood there,

And the ones who pulled me off the edge,

I wish you a brilliant year.

Before I wished no more days,

No sunsets and no rises,

But now I see life's value,

And now every sunset feels like diamonds.